Raising up children who give good blessings
What would you do if your 4-year old daughter laid her hands on your head when you were sick? If you weren’t really, really sick, would you stop her? If you were really, really sick, would you stop her? What if she gave you a blessing that moved you? What if you were healed? What would you say then? And if she did it again another time, would you say something to stop her then? If she told you she felt a warmth in her hands when she did it, and that she had good feelings in her heart for the person she was blessing, would you stop her? And if you would stop her, would you encourage her to develop her gift some other way? And how would you keep her from feeling less valuable than men in general for her having to sublimate that gift? And if you needed her blessing one day when she was 7 years old, and she said, “I learned in church only boys can do that,” what would you say then?
Julie Lauper-Cook wanted that question answered by her Sunstone Symposium panel last Saturday. I was on the panel, but didn’t know this was her experience with her daughter until the session got going. My contribution didn’t answer her question at all and I’ve found myself gnawing at it ever since.
Well, what would you do?
August 13th, 2008 at 1:46 pm
I have always believed (without any research or challenge) that there is no significant difference between a priesthood blessing and a prayer of faith. Would God heal a child when his father puts his hands on the child’s head and gives the child a priesthood blessing and not when a mother holds the child in her arms and prays that God would help or heal the child? I think not–both are subject to his will, his plan, and his power.
Isn’t faith the moving principle behind each? Isn’t each just a different way of accessing the power of faith? To use a somewhat silly analogy, if faith is the electricity that represents the real power, does it matter if it is transmitted through the organized power lines and transformers of The Priesthood or directly from the clouds like lightning?
The infrastructure is represented by the magic words “by the power of the Melchizedek Priesthood and in the name of Jesus Christ” but the priesthood has no monopoly on touching or holding or faithfully praying. Even if she says ‘mommy, i bless you,’ it is still a prayer. Don’t get getting all technical. Are those words that God would ignore?
The power itself isn’t confined to men, only the wires. We are encouraged to seek out the elders if we are sick. We mostly obey, and are blessed if we do, especially the elders, but that doesn’t mean it is the only way.
I wouldn’t stop her and I wouldn’t tell her she is doing something only the boys do. They are giving priesthood blessings, she’s not. She is faithfully praying for Heavenly Father’s help. We all pray and the degree that it means anything is the degree that it is done with faith.
August 14th, 2008 at 10:46 am
I like Jim’s analogy of wires and lightning. Thank you for posting it.
The Doctrine and Covenants teaches that *all* members may have certain gifts of the spirit given to them. The gift of healing is one of those gifts. I think whoever is blessed with that gift ought to do all they can to develop it and bless others through its use. Whether the person with the gift of healing is a child or an adult, a woman or a man makes no difference to me with respect to the advice I would give them.
I think the priesthood primarily must exist for organizational and required ordinance (baptism and temple) reasons. It also is the method by which many men can connect with God. But with the exception of the organization and ordinance part every other thing we do with the priesthood can be done by anyone through a gift of the spirit.
August 14th, 2008 at 2:17 pm
I was present during this session and was very moved by Julie’s story. (I also enjoyed your remarks as well, Lisa.) I think Julie handled it very well. I like Jim’s approach in #1.
It’s too bad we don’t do more to encourage such “prayers of faith.” When they happen at all, it seems to be a result of naivete (i.e. Julie’s daughter) or obstinance (i.e. women who refuse to be held back). The sad thing is we have ample precedence in our rich history for such blessings.
Were my 5-year-old daughter to ask to lay her hands on my head to give me a prayer of comfort I think I’d probably count it as one of my most cherished memories.
August 15th, 2008 at 11:53 am
In my patriarchal blessing I was given the gift to heal others. In my growing up years I was often called upon to offer healing blessings for various family members. Because it was in my pat. blessing, it gave my efforts more legitimacy than if I had just started healing people on my own w/o the priesthood.
I’ve always wondered how unusual it is these days for a woman to receive the gift of healing in her patriarchal blessing. I’d guess that it wasn’t very unusual up until the 1950s or so when women routinely administered to each other.
August 15th, 2008 at 5:41 pm
Wendy and I have always blessed our children together with my priesthood and her faith. We got married right after our missions (where we met) and had children shortly thereafter. It has been a wonderful experience for us…much better than waking up a home teacher at 2AM. And, until just a couple of years ago, I had no idea that it was currently frowned upon. Call my naive, I suppose. I knew it was acceptable just a generation ago and somehow missed the memo on the new exclusion.
bums me out, and makes me feel bad. I hate being “rebelious,” but even more I hate the thought of not sharing this great experience and not combining faith with my wonderful, powerful, intelligent, spiritual wife.
This leaves me in a pickle that I haven’t quite figured out what to do with yet.
August 16th, 2008 at 3:03 pm
Rick, having faith is the key, is it not? It certainly was in the life of Jesus healing others. If one believes it takes “priesthood” to heal, then that’s what one needs to exercise it, yes? I remember two important healing events in my life: one was the result of a priesthood blessing when I was in a state of near suicidal desperation. The other was by a gifted masseuse at a time I had just become homeless. Both healing incidents touched me in life changing ways. The first needed my faith in his priesthood; the other needed my faith in her spirituality. Having “priesthood” was incidental.
August 16th, 2008 at 10:15 pm
We Jews put our hands upon our children’s heads and bless our children every Friday evening with the blessing that they will become like Ephraim and Manasseh (boys) or like Sarah, Hagar, Rebecca and Leah (girls). Then we bestow upon them the Priestly Blessing from Numbers 6: 24-26. Then we give them our own blessings and prayers and kiss their forehead. Then we put our hands upon our wife’s head and sing to her (children can join in) the beautiful Eyshet Hayil (Woman of Valor) Prayer from Proverbs 31: 10-31. We Jews have been doing this for thousands of years. It would not surprise me if this is a rememberence from your Mormon Israelite memory.
August 17th, 2008 at 4:45 pm
This is the first time I’ve come to the site to read the blog, imagine my surprise to see mention of the comments I made at Sunstone. Thank you so much for continuing this conversation — I love it. And, I’m very touched by the comments. It has been amazing to be the recipient of Cassandra’s blessings and I feel such a responsibility to create an environment for her to continue to honor and practice her spiritual gifts. I would like to imagine an environment large enough to encompass all that she can imagine for herself.
I guess my biggest reasons for sharing this story was to encourage conversation about the possibility of healing gifts that do not follow priesthood lines, but also to show the difficulty of raising children (possibly especially daughters) in a patriarchal environment. And to show an example of how a child who has seen for herself that she can use the spiritual gifts of healing, paused when she was taught at church that only men can give blessings. For her to believe that someone else’s perspective would trump her experience and “inner voice” concerns me.
August 17th, 2008 at 7:36 pm
Julie,
Do you not believe that you can teach your daughter to cherish her “inner voice” despite ill advised external pressures that would try to trump it? THAT, I believe is the greatest challenge of our time.
August 19th, 2008 at 5:42 am
Julie, I was deeply moved by your daughter’s faith, and just about lost it when you got to the part about what she learned in church. It’s hard for me to speak positively about this, because “I learned in church only boys can do that” is going to become a mantra that you and she will have to fight against for a long time to come. Fortunately, there are so many examples of women who have the strength to stand up to this message (especially on your panel!).
September 26th, 2008 at 4:01 am
The Truth is the divine power to heal is not exclusive to religion or gender.
It is universal spiritual power and should be encouraged in male and female regardless of age or sexual orientation.
This has been and will continue to be demonstrated time and again, and the Church would be wise to recognize it and adapt its perspective and doctrine accordingly.
September 26th, 2008 at 10:23 am
Dane, I agree 100%.
The power of the “priesthood” (as in God’s power) is innate in us all. Focused thought and energy is the means by which humans, regardless of gender or religious affiliation, can draw on the powers of the universe (God). And the beauty of this condition is that it is the way God has set up the whole universe - available to be tapped into, when understood, so as to provide a means to bless the lives of ourselves, our families, as well as our fellow beings.
In the church, however, the “priesthood”, as it is conferred upon the heads of young men, is for the purposes of administering within the church “organization” - far from the unlimited power all children and adults on earth can exercise.