Mormonly Unique
By Stephen Carter on Dec 31, 2007
Buying new underwear is always a good idea. So I bought some underwear last weekend. I found my favorite neck cut (round) and material (cotton-poly ribbed), made sure the bag was blue, and took my basket up to the cash register.
I’ve always derived a mischievous pleasure from purchasing my underwear from nice old ladies who ask me for my temple recommend. Sadly, on this particular day I had forgotten it. But my cashier, bless her heart, was more than willing to look me up in the database.
I gave her my birthday and my last name. She typed around for a few seconds and then told me something that my Sunbeam teacher had pointed out many years before: that I am unique (I believe my teacher made this observation after I had put a particularly creative twist on the hand motions accompanying the Baby Bumble Bee song).
I am proud, and just a little bit humbled, to announce that, in the whole wide world, I am the only endowed Mormon born on my birthday with my last name.
Is that not cool?
The only thing cooler was that my cashier sold me at least a dozen pieces of women’s underwear without batting an eye (fortunately they were all in my wife’s size).
How about you, gentle reader? Is there anything Mormonly unique about you?
Oh sure, Stephen. Please tell us you got your wife a better Christmas gift than new garments!
You are right, I think the entire garment buying experience is uniquely Mormon, and usually makes me feel a little disoriented. It is an entire store full of special underwear, and about 90% of the people in there are genetically unqualified to hold the priesthood. And my wife writes down all these words that mean nothing to me, but which I am supposed to repeat to the sales clerk. “Bimberg!” “Carrinessa!” I thik it means some kind of fabric or style, but I’ve never been able to figure out the code.
Once an exceptionally old woman was helping me and asked what my calling was. When I told her I was a scoutmaster, she went into high pressure sales mode and tried to sell me the newer, more expensive goretex model. She described the superior thermal qualities, then leaned in and lowered her voice. “It even helps prevent male chafing”. LOL!
Comment # 1 by Mark IV | Dec 31, 2007 | Reply
Well, I had five different mission presidents in three different missions within the first year of my 2-year stint, which I suppose must be some sort of a record. Apart from that, I have been told by countless people that I have a generally unique personality. (Still not sure whether I should be flattered or offended by that.)
Comment # 2 by Terry | Jan 1, 2008 | Reply
Hey Terry, will you e-mail me at jepsonrick “at” hotmail “dot” com?
I’ve got some quesitons about your current research and writing.
Thanks!
–Rick
Comment # 3 by Rick Jepson | Jan 2, 2008 | Reply
Anything uniquely “Mormon” about me? Probably, but off the top of my head there is nothing in particular.
Comment # 4 by Becky | Jan 3, 2008 | Reply
My name - I’m named for Vilate Kimball, the first wife of Heber C. Kimball. My parents met in Institute and were studying Church history at the time they married. They were charmed by the love story of Heber and Vilate and liked the name. They added the extra “L” in a vain effort to assist people in pronouncing it correctly (their correct version - my namesake apparently pronounced her version “VIE-late”, and mine is pronounced “Vuh-LATE”). I have a very common maiden name, so they thought I would like to have an unusual first name. I didn’t, of course, but I appreciate it a lot more now that I’m older. If people ask about the origin of my name, I sometimes tell them that it was a common Mormon name in the 19th century, but that explanation usually leads them to nod and try to change the subject before I can start proselyting them. I normally tell people I think it’s French.
Comment # 5 by Villate | Jan 3, 2008 | Reply
You only have to have been endowed at one time to buy garments, right? Not necessarily a current temple recommend holder.
Does anyone know what the Beehive Clothing comupters or database shows? Does it show if one’s temple recommend is current or not? Or if one is currently ex’d or disfellowshiped?
The point of checking one’s temple recommend or endowed status, I guess, is to make sure non-Mormons or non-endowed people don’t purchase garments. There is no stipulation that one only buys garments for oneself, as Stephen purchased them for his wife. No question as to who they were for. No check of his wife’s endowed status. I guess that would be difficult, as some people go in and buy garments for their whole family.
BTW, I had a Taiwanese missionary companion who’s non-Member brother liked to wear his garment bottoms. He liked the way they felt. My companion eventually just bought two pairs of bottoms for every top because he knew his brother would continue to “borrow” them.
Comment # 6 by Matt Thurston | Jan 3, 2008 | Reply
Stephen, is your title, by chance, a nod to The Real Group’s “Commonly Unique”?
Comment # 7 by Christopher Bradford (Grasshopper) | Jan 4, 2008 | Reply
As a bishop when each year near election time and we would have a letter from SL to read about the importance of the political process and involvement therein I would always announce to my mostly Republican ward that the Democrats were holding their caucus at my house on Tuesday and we would be serving chocolate cake and punch. The R’s always had their party caucus at the local elementary school auditorium.
Comment # 8 by WP | Jan 13, 2008 | Reply