The First Choice We Can’t Remember
By Elise Eggett Johnson on Feb 10, 2007
In the current issue of Sunstone, Jody England Hansen describes faith as “…knowing that anything is possible in life. And that what I do makes a difference.” She describes the first condition for creating this kind of faith as choice. She had a powerful learning experience when a leader pointed out that there are three certain things in life – that we are born, that we die, and that who we will be in between those two events is up to our own choice.
A few months ago, Ken Driggs gave his own reflections of being a public defender and proposed that who we are in our lifetime may not be quite as much “up to our own choice” as we tend to think. Oftentimes, the circumstances we are born into are so influential in the people we become that it is hard to see past them. Jody acknowledges that the things that happen to us are out of control. But she sees even those circumstances and events that happen to us from a deep perspective of choice:
“I believe I knew that [wonderful things happen and terrible things happen] before I chose to have a life on earth. I don’t think I made that choice in ignorance. I chose to come here and live this life. I shouted for joy at the prospect, even knowing that pain is a part of life. It is no wonder that I feel helpless and hopeless when I am complaining, ‘This shouldn’t be happening, it’s not fair, this life is not the one I wanted.’ When I do that, I am denying a powerful choice I made.”
-(Hansen, Jody England. “Creating Faith.” Sunstone Issue #144, pg 12)
This profound idea – that we existed before and that we chose to have life on earth – is one that I was surprised to realize does not exist in other Christian denominations. Even as a child, my understanding of myself as an individual, my sense of self-worth, and my personal purpose were strongly shaped by my belief that I had existed and been a being with worth before I was born, and that being born and living on this earth was my own doing – I chose it. Under the “Plan of Salvation” section of the Gospel Library on the LDS church website, we find that we developed our identity before we were born and that we made decisions which led to our earthly birth.
Ignoring the cultural interpretations (i.e., My Turn on Earth or Saturday’s Warriors) that we chose our parents, significant others, challenges, handicaps, talents, etc., and focusing solely on the idea that we chose to take our identity and our spiritual capabilities and put them into a body and live on earth, how does the belief that we chose to live this life affect your worldview and your daily life?
My short answer – and I hope to comment more later – is this:
With faith that I chose to live this life, I think I feel a little deeper appreciation for the earth itself, and I feel a greater responsibility to take care of it, enjoy time in nature, and see as much of it as I can. I think this is similar to being excited over a chosen summer vacation spot and wanting to see everything in the short week or two that I have to visit and experience. Ideally (because I’m not perfect), it causes me to be less flippant and less likely to take each day of my life for granted.
The belief that we chose this life also means that there were spirits/identities that did not. I feel sad about that, and I hope that the Plan of Salvation, of which pre-mortal choices are a part, allows for them to change their minds. It seems unfair that we can make bad decisions and then change our minds (i.e., repent) once we are on the earth, but that the same opportunity isn’t extended pre-mortally. I hope - which is a form of faith – that the Atonement extends eternally both in the “before” part and the “after” part and that, if anyone chose not to be born and then changed their minds, they can still be born and experience this wonderful earthly life.
Elise, this is a beautifully written post, but I find myself struggling to answer your question: “how does the belief that we chose to live this life affect your worldview and your daily life?” I don’t believe that I chose to live this life before I was born, and I would take a step back and ask: how much does the doctrine of pre-mortal existence factor into the faith lives of other Sunstone blog readers?
I can answer the question from a different angle, however. One of the fundamental faith decisions that I’ve made in this life is the decision to live it. I recommit to this choice periodically. Is this existential choice a given to LDS believers (since you already made the choice before coming to earth)?
Comment # 1 by John Remy | Feb 13, 2007 | Reply
The LDS concept of eternal progression is one of the most liberating and exciting aspects of LDS Theology, but it contains a few caveats that have never felt right to me. You point out one of them when you talk about the finality of our pre-existence decision to either choose Christ’s plan or Satan’s plan. I agree that it isn’t fair, nor does it seem just. The other one is the idea that our eternal destinies are locked into one of three kingdoms, with no chance of advancement from kingdom to kingdom. These caveats feel human to me, limited ideas that invoke fear and are meant to inspire us to act now, to not delay our repentance (or whatever), or it might be too late.
Like John, I’m not sure I think too much about any decision I might have made before coming to this earth. My mind and soul are too focused on today, with frequent, anxious glances towards the unknown future beyond death.
Elise, you should check out some of the work of Michael Newton. It’s kind of fun. I was first exposed to his ideas at a Sunstone Symposium session two years ago that featured Dan W. and Lisa Hansen, among others. Through near death experiences, past life regression, hypnosis, etc, Newton outlines what happens to our souls between lives. Yes, it seems kind of kooky, but no more kooky than the idea of revelation and angels, if you think about it. Check out Journey of Souls.
I have to admit I found it all very bizarre following that first symposium session, but since then I’ve come to find the ideas quite poetic, even appealing. The ideas are similar in some way to LDS doctrine in that we choose each life incarnation. What can my soul learn as a man, as a woman, as a poor farmer, as a rich celebrity, and so on…
I often reflect with sadness that my life is so short, that there are so many things to learn and so little time. For example, I want to read hundreds of thousands of books, but will be lucky to read one, maybe two thousand books in my lifetime, if I really apply myself. I recognize that I can only learn so much with my current personality and circumstances, and wonder what I could learn from a different point of view. If my soul is eternal I find solace in the idea that there will be time enough to spare in the next life to read books, etc. but the next life is an unknown, while this life is a beautiful known. As such, I find the idea of eternal reincarnations in this life more appealing than eternal life in a realm that is a complete unknown.
Comment # 2 by Matt Thurston | Feb 13, 2007 | Reply
Excellent question, John, and one I’ve had to think about for a while this morning to come up with an answer. The reason I felt this topic to be Sunstone-shareable is simply that I found Jody’s article - which focused on a choice-based faith - was a profound and inspiring account of her own approach at faith.
A belief in life-after-death, and not life-before-birth, seems kind of one-sided to me. And yet I have concerns about some of the more disturbing parts of the LDS story of the pre-existence. Both doctrinally (like God just letthing a third of the people go, and that’s that) and culturally (like members interpretting their place on earth as higher because of something they did in the pre-existence, and using that interpretation to be prejudiced and discriminating).
Jody stripped away the illustrations of the pre-existence that seem to take on a mythical feel and focused on the part that I think is most important: choice. I loved the quote above. But, simplifying such a complex choice down to just choice seemed to ignore some of the more troubling aspects of the way the concept is talked.
Thjat said, I love your angle, John, and thanks for answering the question in your own way. My question was not perhaps worded as well as it could have been. I hadn’t looked at it from that perspective and I think making the choice to live and to care and to do it with passion in this life is every bit as beautiful and powerful.
Comment # 3 by Elise | Feb 13, 2007 | Reply
Thanks, Matt, I’ll check that out. I think I’ve met Lisa Hansen at some Sunstone event……like you, I found her ideas bizarre yet intriguing.
I like your description of this life as the beautiful known.
Comment # 4 by Elise | Feb 13, 2007 | Reply
As an alert (and to put some pressure on ourselves to get it done), Sunstone is planning to do a magazine section on the history and influence of reincarnation teachings in Mormonism in the early church and now. It’s been a bigger idea than one might realize. Certainly, as Matt’s post hints, there’s a sensibility in the LDS idea of the importance of eternal progression that reincarnation fits well.
Anyway, I think it will be a fascinating section. We’re currently aiming to have it ready for the magazine after the one we’re currently working on. The current issue should go to press in early March. The issue after that about late April or early May.
Re the Michael Newton ideas that Matt mentions, I always suggest that if the universe doesn’t actually work the way that book portrays it, it should.
Comment # 5 by Dan | Feb 13, 2007 | Reply
Dan,
Thank you for the heads up that Sunstone will be exploring reincarnation in the near future. For what it’s worth I will be eagerly watching for that issue.
I recently enjoyed the MP3 of you and Lisa Hansen talking about reincarnation at a Sunstone symposium several years ago. Like several of those who came up to the mic at the end I felt a sense of relief and happiness hearing of other folks out there who consider themselves believing, practicing Mormons who believe in reincarnation. While I don’t dwell on the notion it is a quiet part of my view on the world. It caught my ear that several people had read the same books that I had.
A side note on the MP3 that I’m guessing time, new technology and Sunstone technology guru, John Dehlin, have rectified: the audio quality of the recording was rough. I really wanted to hear what folks were saying but sometimes I really had to strain to make out the words.
I chuckle and wince a bit to think back on my missionary days in Thailand where I earnestly repeated the official line that reincarnation isn’t to be believed. Thailand is 99% Bhuddist and like true Bhuddists most folks I said that to were tolerant of me and kind to me. Personally I’m glad that there is no evidence that their notion of reincarnation including mineral, plant and animal levels is valid.
Comment # 6 by Kevin Merrell | Jun 10, 2007 | Reply