God’s Rock Band
By Matt Thurston on Oct 12, 2006
Last week I had the following conversation with my brother:
My brother: “I’m going to The Killers concert at the Wiltern on Friday night.”
Me: “Cool. You know that guy’s Mormon?”
My brother: “Who?”
Me: “Brandon Flowers, the lead singer of The Killers.”
My brother (disbelieving): “Really? This isn’t one of those Howard Jones things is it?”
Ahhh… the Howard Jones thing…
Several years ago, during my BYU days, my friend Shawn and I were standing in line for a Howard Jones concert in Salt Lake City. I’d been to dozens of concerts while growing up in my native Southern California, and I’d participated in all kinds of colorful, pre-concert, standing-in-line banter with other excited fans, many of whom resembled vampires, punks, and other unsavory types. I thought I’d seen it all, but no So Cal concert could have prepared me for the freaky scene at the Howard Jones show in SLC. Ripped clothing, bizarre haircuts, and the color black had given way to button-down dress shirts, the Utah Claw, and pretty pastel shades of pink and blue. Hey, by concert standards, this was far more counterculture than a humdrum safety pin through the cheek! (Admittedly, Howard Jones is closer to Donny Osmond than Marilyn Manson.)
Shawn wondered under his breath if we were queuing up for a concert or a combined Youth and Young Adult activity. I had, at that very moment, been formulating this counterculture theory in my mind, and was about to tell Shawn that underneath their well-scrubbed faces and polo shirts, these kids were even more crazy and bizarre than the vampires and punks back home, that they probably sacrificed cats and drank their blood after the concert… when a cheerful girl wearing a pleated khaki skirt and a CTR ring said, “Hey, did you guys know that Howard Jones is Mormon?”
Uh oh, my new-found theory was starting to show some holes… but I wasn’t ready to completely abandon it, at least not yet. After all, maybe it was just an act. Maybe, Little Miss Howard-Jones-Is-Mormon was just playing the role of Molly, when underneath she was really Vixen. Determined to unmask her, I put on my most skeptical face and said, “No way— Howard Jones is NOT Mormon!”
Undeterred, she answered, “Oh yes he is! My brother’s friend’s cousin’s first companion tracted him out and taught him the discussions!”
Shawn and I both scoffed, but before either of us could retort, other fans quickly verified “Molly’s” assertion. “Yeah, I heard that too,” a tall, blond RM-type wearing a “celestial smile” and 90210 sideburns replied, with General Authorityish gravitas. Several others nodded or voiced their agreement.
Weakening, but still feeling a little fight left, I replied, “Oh yeah? Well I still don’t believe you— prove it!”
“That’s easy,” Molly smiled, “Just look at his lyrics— LDS themes underscore nearly all of his songs.”
“For example?” I sneered.
“Well, ‘Things Can Only Get Better’ is clearly about Enduring To The End… and then there’s ‘No One Is to Blame,’ which is obviously about Free Agency and its consequences, the Fall of Adam, lots of deep Mormon stuff… oh, and ‘Everlasting Love,’ well hello!, Eternal Marriage anyone?” She smiled from ear to ear— not a condescending, see-I-told-you-so smile, but a patient, don’t-worry-you’ll-get-it-someday smile.
All around me there were nods of agreement and more patient smiles. I looked to Shawn for help and encouragement. He blinked back like a deer caught in headlights. It looked liked the jig was up— my once-promising theory had been dashed to pieces by the Bountiful 17th Ward Young Adults. There might be punch-and-cookies following the show, but cat’s blood was definitely not on the menu.
Molly put her hand on my shoulder, “Don’t worry, when Howard sings tonight, you’ll see what I mean.” I half-heartedly agreed to pay attention to the lyrics, to put her assertion to the proverbial test.
An hour later Shawn and I were swaying with the crowd and singing “Everlasting Love” with Howard Jones at the top of our lungs: “I need an everlasting love; I need a friend and a lover divine; An everlasting precious love; Wait for it, wait for it, give it some time.” I turned and looked at Molly, standing about 20 feet away, also singing at the top of her lungs. We made eye contact and she winked.
“You know what?” I screamed to Shawn over the noise of the crowd, “Maybe they’re right, maybe Brother Jones is Mormon?” Shawn looked at me like I’d just killed a cat and drank its blood.
Later that night as we drove home I said, “You know, I was just kidding about that ‘Brother Jones is Mormon’ thing— you don’t have to tell anyone I said that.”
“Yeah right!” he laughed, “I saw your face— you thought Howard Jones was Mormon! I’m telling everyone!” We both laughed the whole way home.
So, last week I’m talking to my brother about the Mormon guy in The Killers, and then my dad e-mails me a day later with the news that Elvis Presley took the Mormon missionary discussions and was to be baptized. 
Will someone please tell me what in the name of Sex-Drugs-and-Rock-n-Roll is going on here?!?! First Gladys Knight, then Arthur “Killer” Kane, then Brandon “The Killers” Flowers, and now Elvis, the King of Rock-n-Roll himself? Who’s next, Elton John? Madonna? Snoop Dogg? Is God putting together some kind of Celestial rock band, some kind of Kolob-apalooza? Were the Osmonds not good enough? Did God need Gladys’s Motown soul, Killer Kane’s punk machismo, Flowers’s New Wave theatrics, and Elvis’s Rock-n-Roll shimmy? Are Joey (Ramone) and Joe (Strummer) currently jamming with Jimi and Janis, to say nothing of the Apostles James and John, out by the Pearly (Jam) Gates?
Hey, if “the King” is now “the Elder”… maybe Howard Jones is a Mormon after all? 
Possible questions to answer:
Q1: What is your “Have you heard ______ is Mormon?” story?
Q2: Based on the lyrics, which Elvis Presley songs do you think can best be “re-interpreted” using an LDS worldview? Please give examples.
Matt asks:
Q1: What is your “Have you heard ______ is Mormon?” story?
I reply:
I’m probably older than most on this site, so my ever-diminishing memory goes back to WW II. Some time in the early 50s I heard this one: “Did you know that Hitler was a Mormon?” The story alleged that LDS POWs captured by the Nazis in WW II were given favorable treatment by their captors.
Over the years many other celebs were added to that list. One of my favorite games when I was at BYU was to pick some celeb at random and say, “Have you heard that (fill in the blank) is a Mormon?” It worked almost every time.
Comment # 1 by Preston Bissell | Oct 12, 2006 | Reply
Funny post, Matt.
The website http://www.famousmormons.net has a page where you can find out about people who are rumored to be mo’. The page lists Steve Martin, Alice Cooper, and Christina Aguilera, among others. My wife still thinks Orel Herschiser, the former Dodger’s pitcher, is mormon.
Since the Bible teaches that God is love, I’ll go with Hunka Hunka Burnin’ Love as my answer to your question # 2.
Comment # 2 by Mark IV | Oct 12, 2006 | Reply
For me the most unbelieveable rumor was when I heard that Eldridge Cleaver had joined the church…. and then it turned out to be true.
Comment # 3 by paula | Oct 12, 2006 | Reply
Q1. Lorne Greene
Q2: “A World of Our Own” (1963)
“Holding you close, is heaven/ Only I know, what it’s worth
Knowing you’re mine, forever/ Is the greatest wonder on earth
Nothing can change it, the magic’s begun/ When we’re together, our hearts become one
I find a happiness, I’ve never known/ When we’re in a world of our own”
As for Howard Jones, I’ve stalked him for years hoping - looking for clues - that he was some kind of Christian. The Christian musician Paul Q-Pek did a cover of “Things Can Only Get Better” in 1996, but that probably isn’t proof. Honestly, I’m pretty sure he’s a Buddhist…. but Depeche Mode - maybe they’re Mormons!
Comment # 4 by Joe | Oct 12, 2006 | Reply
A movie about Eldridge Cleaver turning Mormon would be waaay interesting. It would probably be rated NC-17 though. Forget Hunka Hunka.
Comment # 5 by Stephen Carter | Oct 12, 2006 | Reply
Kolob-apalooza! haha!
I heard (and almost believed) the story about Steve Martin.
Comment # 6 by Susan M | Oct 12, 2006 | Reply
It’s fun to look through IGI for dead rock stars. I believe Kurt Cobain is now a Mormon.
Comment # 7 by Ronan | Oct 12, 2006 | Reply
Preston, never heard the Hitler story before. Good one.
Mark IV, yeah, I’ve seen that website before. Amazing how many famous people have LDS backgrounds. Given our emphasis on talents (i.e. music, etc.) I guess it shouldn’t surprise me. And yeah, Orel Hershiser seems more Mormon than most Mormons I know. Pretty sure he’s some kind of conservative or evangelical Christian.
Agree with Paula and Stephen about Eldridge Cleaver… a great movie or documentary needs to be made.
Ronan, I think you are right about Kurt Cobain being Mormon.
Susan M, you would be the PERFECT person to organize a Kolobapalooza!!!
Thanks to Joe and Mark IV for taking a shot at my Elvis question. I’m a little disappointed more people didn’t take up my challenge. Seems there are a million creative ways to spin Elvis songs into a Mormon framework. The more creative, the better… for example:
“A little less conversation a little more action please” as an anthem for Mission Presidents to their Missionary charges to quit beating around the bush and extend that baptismal challenge already!
Or as an anonymous source suggested, just for fun, and with the utmost respect: “A whole lotta shakin’ goin on at the Kirtland Temple dedication.” Ha!
Comment # 8 by Matt Thurston | Oct 13, 2006 | Reply
“Blue Christmas” and “Return to Sender” are obviously missionary ballads.
Comment # 9 by John Remy | Oct 13, 2006 | Reply
“Love Me Tender” read through the proper white stone in combination with Genesis code numerological calculus refined by Nostradamean divinization and then linked with identical analyses of “Don’t Be Cruel” clearly shows it to be a reference to a certain historical incident involving a . . . hmmm . . . hard to make out the word . . . . Ah, yes, “wrestling” prophet and someone named . . . Sarah. . . or is it Nancy? . . . Wait! It’s showing both results!
VERY deep stuff! Can’t wait to work this stuff through the whole Elvis catalog!
Comment # 10 by Dan | Oct 13, 2006 | Reply
Oops. Did I just flirt with breaking the comment policy guidelines I’ve been defending a bit in another thread?! Sorry, if so. Just having fun late on a Friday after a tough week…..
Comment # 11 by Dan | Oct 13, 2006 | Reply
Matt,
There’s just something so hip about god having a rock band that it must be true. And the best possible candidate for the band which has god among its roadies is Lynyrd Skynyrd. So naturally I would answer:
Q1: Have you heard Ronnie Van Zant is [now] Mormon? Proof? “Simple Man” was clearly inspired by those Stripling Warriors.
Q2: “A Little Less Conversation” is clearly a reminder that “faith without works is dead”
Comment # 12 by Watt Mahoun | Oct 16, 2006 | Reply
I was just at Famous Mormons last night. Funny story about Alice Cooper:
Apparently his father was a member of an offshoot LDS group (His name was Ether Moroni Fornier), but his father later became a Baptist minister. (Cooper is now sponsoring a Christian Teen Center in Phoenix where high-risk kids can worship, rock, and stay safe…pretty cool).
BUT, Mr. Cooper does have another tie to the LDS Church. His High School Principle at Cortez High School in Phoenix was the stake patriarch in my stake when I was young. The princpal kicked Mr. Cooper out of school for some raucous behavior, but they remained close for the rest of the principal’s life.
Comment # 13 by Austin Frost | Oct 20, 2006 | Reply
You forgot another big name. Randy Bachman, first of the Guess Who, then of Bachman-Turner Overdrive. I recenlty ran across an interesting article in which he discusses his experience.
Comment # 14 by Marc | Oct 21, 2006 | Reply
I can categorically tell you that Howard Jones, is not, and is never likely to be a Mormon. Listen to the recent interviews on getjacked.podshow.com and coverville.com
Comment # 15 by jason | Nov 5, 2006 | Reply
I’ve personally heard about:
–Lionel Richie
–Phil Collins
–Howard Jones
–Roger Waters (Pink Floyd)
I also heard that Eric Clapton was taking the discussions, and had given up heroin to join, and his agent, at the last minute, shot him up against his will to keep him from getting baptized.
How can these NOT be true, is my question.
Comment # 16 by John Dehlin | Nov 22, 2006 | Reply
Ha! My last mission companion swore up and down that a companion of her boyfriend in London had baptized Sting. I scoffed at her naivete and asked her if she had ever actually HEARD a Police or Sting song or read an interview with him. Very shortly after I got home, I was perusing a popular and well-known entertainment magazine when what should I come upon but a half-page photo of a nude (apparently) Sting about to make out with some guy. It was a still from “The Grotesque,” in which Sting portrays a murderous bisexual butler or some such thing. Cackling, I cut out the review and mailed it to her with a Post-It on the back that read, “If Sting was a member of the Church, I don’t think he will be after his Bishop sees this!” I didn’t send her the picture (though I was sorely tempted), since she was a rather delicate and pure sort (I’m not being ironic or snarky, she really was), and I didn’t want to offend her sensibilities. I still laugh about it whenever I hear “Murder By Numbers” or read something about Sting’s fabled tantric sexual prowess.
Comment # 17 by Villate | Nov 26, 2007 | Reply